Less is More

I'm going to start by saying, I had this a little better paragraphed, which helped make sense to me, but for some reason, it keeps making it one big paragraph. I hope you will stick with me and get the true message of my passion! Thanks! I often wonder why we have such an attachment to "things" I feel like we are a society who has to have the best of this, or look better than them. We work so hard at this, that we often sink ourselves into enormous debt, and even alienate people who don't fit into our "standard" of life. I'm not saying it is wrong to have nice things, or to want to look nice. But, I believe there comes a point where we start to worship things on earth more than what comes next. But, truth is, we take NONE of this with us when we leave. We are no longer judged by what kind of car we drove, what brands we wore, how big our house was. What DID we do in our life? Who did we help? Did we take the time to ask others how their day was? Did we smile at a stranger, help someone who was struggling with a bag? Hold a door for someone, give when we don't have much ourselves? THESE are a reflection of how we lived our life. Who we touched. Who we shared our faith with. Did we share our faith? Or did we quietly worship? I myself, want to change the world. Now, I know, realistically I can't change the WHOLE WORLD. But, I'm going to do my part to try. I want to help those in need. I want to feed those who are hungry. I want to show those who don't believe, the way to Christ. Because, the only way to the Lord, IS through Christ. Salvation. Isn't that what we all want? To be welcomed into the kingdom of heaven with a "job well done" I don't know the Bible front to back. I can't easily come up with a verse for you. But, I can tell you about the love of my Savior. I can tell you the importance of him in my life and how greatly we have been blessed, and challenged because we have chosen to follow Him. I can show you his love through the way I chose to live my life. This reminds me of a song my Mom used to sing me before bed. I have gone on and started singing it to Mattea at night. It has become her favorite song. She says, "Sing me the song Gommy used to sing you." Warms my heart, and melts my Moms!!!! I'd like to share it with you.

ONE LITTLE CANDLE

When the day is dark and dreary, and your way is hard to find,

don't let your heart be weary, just keep this thought in mind

it is better to light just one little candle than to stumble in the dark

better far that you light just one little candle, all you need is a tiny spark

if we all say a prayer that the world would be free, the wonderful dawn of a new day we'd see and if everyone lit just one little candle, what a bright world this would be

If I light my candle, and share my light with you. You in turn, light your candle, and share it with others. How amazing would that be??? That we could easily share our light with another, and they go on and share their light? In fact, aren't we changing the world? We might not know it, but, it could be happening right now. SHARE YOUR LIGHT.

I want to become less aware of what earthly things I can acquire, and MORE aware of acquiring my eternal resting spot. I am on my way. I hope in some way, I can inspire you to do your part in making this world a little better, one candle at a time.

Love and light to all of you!!!!

What Happened to Spring?????

A week ago, we were enjoying the sun and playing outside ALL DAY! Shorts, dresses, LOVE!!!

Fast forward and we are suffering from cabin fever again!!! We've been stuck inside for about a week now! It's freezing again! Now it's pants, sweatshirts, slippers.....gotta keep warm!!! Not to mention the heater being ran a BUNCH!! I was so excited to have it warming up so we could get back to a nice cheap electric bill. Well, Mother Nature had a better idea!!!

This is NOT COOL! We want the sunshine back, like NOW!! Thank you......AND SCENE!

Matteas Prayer

"Dear God. Thank you for this awesome day and night. Thank you for my house that plays music and makes noise. Thank you for my bible verses and new songs. Amen.....Oh yea, and thank you for Sis and Jesus. Amen"

Have I mentioned how much I love this girl?

Triple Tuesday

Okay, so, here it is. I know I skipped a couple weeks......I'm not the best at keeping up! But, here we go!!!!

1. I am so saddened by the events in Japan. My heart hurts for all those affected. I wish that I had the means to drop everything and go help with relief efforts. But, I've been doing what I know I can from here. I have been keeping them in my thoughts and prayers daily. I have also been counting my blessings to have my family next to me, safe and sound. These events have reminded me what is important in life, and what isn't. I am so fortunate to have such amazing friends and family in my life!

2. I am SO going back and forth on wanting another baby or not!!! One day, I feel ready, and longing for a little man (hopefully) to cuddle and squeeze! The next day, I am completely unsure. I think, things are okay the way they are. But, I know, that we are never truly READY for baby, whether it be your first or third! So, we have decided to let God decide if we will be blessed with another little angel. He is the only one who really knows what is best for us! So, maybe we will, maybe we won't. I will be happy either way. I have two beautiful angels in my life!!! It would be a bonus if we were to have another!!

3. I can't wait to go to sleep and wake up tomorrow! Suppose to be in the 70s the next three days!!! Yay!!! Now, if mother nature could just decide which way she was going to swing. This back and forth is driving me nutso!!! Not to mention, my poor husband has been suffering a terrible case of allergies!! I feel so bad for him!! He is so congested!! Barely breathing, eyes watering, swelling.....it's not a pretty sight!!

There ya go!! I'm going with Amber and saying EVERYONE should do a Triple Tangent Tuesday!! It'll be fun!! You can be as random as you like!!!

Oh, these Girls!!

There are days I want to pull my hair out. I'm not joking here!!! Sometimes, this job of Motherhood can be exausting! Day and night, I am in charge of these little beings. The teething one year old, who can't seem to break that molar. Or, the defiant three year old who is testing her boundaries. I would like to say that I am Supermom.....but I'm only human! There are days that they get the best of me.

The good news is, there are by far more rewards for taking on this role. When Mattea climbs up on my lap, puts her arms around me tight, and tells me how much she loves me. Cecelia, with her little pigeon toed walk, is at my feet looking up at me with her big smile! When I hear them both playing in the playroom TOGETHER! Mattea, trying very hard to be patient with her little sister, knowing she doesn't quite understand it all yet.

These are the days I cling to. The days I look back on when we are having an "off" day. Reminding me that it's not always crying and dirty butts! It's unconditonal love FOR them and FROM them.

I can't wait to see them grow up together. To see them be best friends (and at times.....bicker like enemies! I have a sister, I know!) I want to see how they look out for eachother, laugh together, and drive Mommy crazy together. Of course I'm not pushing for them to grow up too fast. I learn more every day that we need to cherish their youthfullness.

I thank God every day for this challenging job called Motherhood. I really wouldn't have it any other way! He has blessed our family so incredibly. I know that because of Him and through Him, we are whole. I thank Him for letting me watch faith grow in a tiny little soul, just learning of His love.

These girls are my happiness, sadness, joy, and comfort. I love them with all my heart. I don't know who I would be without them.

Serious?? This is my life!!

So, I was just browsing blogs (mainly because I am an insomniac and can not sleep!) I realised this entire day, I thought it was Tuesday......I even did my Tuesday blog!! I swear, this is my life! I am a complete basket case!!! I'm not saying that like I'm down on myself, I just seem to do these crazy things almost daily! But, I still posted!! Who cares if it was a day late? Right? Okay, now I feel better.....kinda....

T to the TT.....What???

Well, it's Tuesday, so I will begin my second edition of Triple Tangent Tuesday!!

1.I just rearranged the girls room! Well, Cecelia doesn't sleep in there yet, but, when she is big enough, there is a bed waiting for her! (Right now, I sleep in it a lot when I can't sleep! Their beds are more comfortable than ours....not cool right???) Now, if I could afford to paint it! They need a super cute girly color on the wall! Their furniture is so colorful, then there is a boring tan on the wall....BOO!

2.We started a small group last night with our friends the Harmons, and my brother and his wife. The first study we chose to do "From Anger to Intimacy" Now, we're not all a bunch of angry folks, but as most of you know, every marriage goes through it's ups and downs. It's nice to have a group of people to talk to who are dealing with the same things! Plus, the kids had a BLAST playing with eachother! It was just the first week, but I can already tell how amazing this is going to be. Next week, we're hosting it! Johns famous Mexican Lasagna is on the menu!! Can't wait!

3. I love Despicable Me!! I swear, I might even like it more than the girls!! We have watched it a billion times already, and I'm not a bit tired of it! I think I talk Mattea into watching it (mainly because I DO NOT want to watch Strawberry Shortcake one more time!!) It is so absolutely fun! I love the Minions....pretty much anything they do makes me laugh. Yes, still, even after the millionth time!!!

Well, I guess that's it for today. Short and sweet!

Cecelia is O-N-E!!

Dear Cecelia,
I can't believe you are already a year old! Just yesterday, I was holding you for the first time. You were so beautiful! I will never forget that day (mainly because you decided to come sans epidurral or doctor!!) You have added so much to our family! Mattea loves you so much and is the best big sister (most of the time) I have loved watching you over this past year. My how much you have changed!!! You have deffinately changed our family forever! We are so lucky to have you with us. Your joy and love fill our hearts!! I know that you love your Mommy, there is no question there. But, you are DEFFINATELY a Daddys girl. I'm okay with that. He LOVES your hugs and kisses. I can't wait to see what kind of amazing person you grow into year after year. I love you to the moon and back. Forever and ever!!!! Happy Birthday Princess!!

Thankful Thursday

Wow!!! I am seriously on a roll here!!! We'll see how long it lasts (and how long you care to keep reading!)

I love Thankful Thursday because I think it is important to remember all I have to be thankful for in my life. Especially in these times where there is so much despair and negativity!

This Thursday I am thankful for music. Music is my soul. I live for music. I breathe for music. I dance for music. For those who know me, I've always been known as "the dancer" I'm FINE with that! Dance has always been who I am, and to dance, you must have music!!! (Well, I can dance without it, but I really LOVE dancing to a great song)

Right now, my top three songs important or relevant in my life are:

Firework by Katy Perry
Hello World by Lady Antebellum
By Your Side by Tenth Avenue North

They all are very different, but play a HUGE part in my life. Firework is upbeat with a great message that, well, I need to remind myself often. I am a firework, and I am AWESOME! Hello World is beyond words for me. It makes me want to move, breathe, live in a different way. I want to be IN the now. Notice all around me. "Remember why I'm here" By Your Side is an amazing song. It is a song by a Christian group, and every time I hear it, I'm reminded of who is with me. Day or night. Good or bad. Thick or thin. I can count on my Savior to be here with me. I have been listening to my Christian radio station a lot lately, for many reasons. I love the music, less commercials, and it is always uplifting. But, a couple weeks ago, I was going through one of my "down" times and two days in a row, I got in my car and this song was on. I cried both days. He was sending me a message. "Why are you looking everywhere else for these things? I am right here." It was a big lightbulb reminder for me.

So, as you can see, I love music. It is who I am. I know I have always been "the dancer" but, deep down, I have always wanted to be a Singer!! I know, sounds silly, but it's just another way I can pass on my musical message!! Too bad I get terrible stage fright when it comes to singing in crowds! I can dance in front of anyone, but singing is a WHOLE other story!!

As long as I have my music, I'm alright! I think I have a song or playlist for every different part of my life. I live my life through music........

So, I guess I have gone on long enough, and I think you get the point!! Thanks for listening. (or I guess, reading) Until next time!!!

Mattea Talks....

First, let me start of by saying, I started this post yesterday, but, with two kids, it got put on the back burner. But, I will continue like it was yesterday!

My daughter is hillarious! She cracks me up daily! Here are a few from today.

She is giving me kisses and then, her kiss is getting longer and she starts shaking her head while kissing me. I say, "What are you doing?" She replies, "Like they do on Incredibles!" (apparently there is a romantic kiss....) After laughing, I had to explain to her that that is not how Mommies and their babies kiss. She didn't get it, but....Oh well!

Tonight, we went to Target with my Mom. Now, Gommy (as she is so lovingly called by her herd of grandchildren) gave Mattea ten dollars for Valentines day, and she couldn't wait to spend it. She picked out a calculator from the dollar section, even after I tried to explain she wouldn't really like it. A few minutes later, Mom and I were talking, she was in the cart with her calculator when she says, "Shhh!! I'm texting someone!" Seriously kid?? You're three!!!

Then, a bit later, she was starting to say that she wanted out of the cart at the same time I happened to start singing the song that was stuck in my head. It went a little like this.....

Now, picture me singing in my most AMAZING Jared Neiman voice....Ahem (gotta prepare for this one) "What do you want? What do you want? What do you want from me?"
To which Mattea responded in her even BETTER singing voice, "I want you to get me out and put me on the ground down there!" Mom and I couldn't stop laughing forever!

Okay, so maybe these things were funnier in person, but I'm just sayin, my kid is a crack up!

Three Tangent Tuesday!!

I'm stealing this from Amber because, well, she said all the cool people were doing it.....and we all know how I am DYING to be cool! It's just a way to be random on a Tuesday I guess!

1. Mattea just walked out of her playroom, came up to me, gave me our 3 kisses (kiss, butterfly, and eskimo...is that even how you spell it??) A tight sqeeze, and then said, " I love you Mommy! You are the best Mommy ever!" Then, she turned around and went right back to playing. Those are the kinds of things that get me through the day!

2. I have an amazing husband and I don't give him enough credit! He does so much for our family and loves us so much! I'm not the easiest person to live with, and he does it willingly! That's a plus in my book! I'm not sure how I got so lucky, but, I'm going to make it my mission to let him know how awesome he is and what he means to me and our girls! Don't know what we would do without him!

3. I'm kinda obsessed with Katy Perrys song "Firework" Now, I never listen to pop music anymore, so I hadn't heard it until I attended a Quest Training (more on that later) But, I love it!! It has such an inspiring and empowering message. Plus, it's fun to dance to, which Mattea and I do daily! I even have it as my ringtone, because, even if I'm having a downer day, when my phone rings, I'm reminded of how awesome I am!!!

Well, there's my first Tuesday post! Hope you enjoyed!!

Sleepless in Branson.....

So, I know I really stink bad at the blogging thing!! I have intentions to get on, say a little hello, and a how ya doin. But, somewhere in there.....I don't! There is so much I wanna share with you that won't all fit into this little blurb.....or it would be a huge one! But, I have decided that I do not take enough ME time. I spend so much of my time on others, I have neglected myself. So, I will be just a tad selfish and take a little time to myself. Which means, I might update more! Yippee! Some posts that might come up, my amazing Quest for life, Hawaii, Cali, the fact that my BABY will be a year old in four days!! So, stay tuned......I really do have interesting things to say......some of the time!!!

My affair with the Dr. continues BTW.........This is the most amazing cup in the world.....So much Dr. in one cup!! Yummy!!!

Words of Inspiration

This is one of my favorite worship songs, and it keeps coming to mind with all I'm going through. Just wanted to share it with you.

Rescue

You are the source of life

I can't be left behind

no one else will do

I will take hold of you

Cause I need you Jesus

To come to my rescue

Where else can I go?

There's no other name by which I am saved

Caputre me with grace

I will follow You

My heart is yours for life

I need your hand in mine

No one else will do

I put my trust in you

Cause I need you Jesus

to come to my rescue

Where else can i go?

There's no other name by which I am saved

Capture me with grace

I will follow you

This world has NOTHING for me

I will follow you

This world has NOTHING for me

I will follow you

This world has NOTHING for me

I will follow you

THIS WORLD HAS NOTHING FOR ME

Cause I need you Jesus

To come to my rescue

Where else can I go?

There's no other name by which I am saved

Capture me with Grace

I will follow you

THIS WORLD HAS NOTHING FOR ME

I WILL FOLLOW YOU

Oh yea.....the Bad Dreams Part

So, two times this week, Mattea has started yelling in her sleep.....she is crying, "Don't!! NO!! Stop!!" I have to shake her to wake her. She doesn't wake fully, so she doesn't tell me what her dream was about. But, I don't want my little girl having bad dreams (of course I know I have no control over it) I just wish I knew what she was dreaming that would have her so worked up! Well, that's all about that. I just know how I feel when I have bad dreams.......and I don't like it!!!!

Bad Dreams and Sleepless Nights

I think I'm going with some nice pinkish purple tonight!!!

Well, here it is, almost midnight. I've been trying to sleep since 9:30! Obviously, this hasn't worked. I even took my prescription sleeping medicine (no, not the one that makes me loopy, so this post WILL make sense!) But, here I am.

I have a lot on my mind lately. Like I said in the last post.....I'm a work in progress! I have been struggling lately. About five years ago, I was diagnosed bipolar. At first, I was freaked, because, I thought of what people would think of me......But, it is a disorder that is not in my control! I wouldn't be ashamed of Diabetes or Cancer, as my Mom put it. Well, I had it pretty well under control until after Cecelia. Since then, I have been up, down, and all around.

Lately, I feel like I have lost myself. Lost my joy. And for those who know me......I have a lot of Joy!!! I have been so wrapped up in being Mommy, Wife, Sister, Daughter, Friend...I have forgotten about myself and who I am. So, I am taking time to find myself again. I am going to be attending an intensive counseling retreat next week, and I can't wait. I know that there is nothing but good in store for my family and I.

Why am I posting about this? Well, far too often, I feel like we have to put on a "face" you know, life is wonderful! I have no complaints! My kids are perfect and NEVER act up..... Ya know.....keepin up with the Joneses....But, I feel like a lot of us have feelings, fears, and hangups that we never talk about. We just push them down farther. I just want to put it out there.......I have some issues!!!!! But, the good thing is, I am willing to accept that I am not perfect and seek the help I need! Luckily for me, I have the Lord on my side. I know he will never leave me. I keep telling myself......he will NEVER give me more than I can handle. Turn to him!! He is there!!

But enough about my ramblings. Hopefully, someone found some comfort in this.......know you are not alone......we don't all have it together!!!!

2011 Here We Come

Okay, so I know I am terrible at blogging! I can sit on the internet forever and do nothing, yet, I forget to update! So, I promise to my 3 followers out there....I'll try and do better.

2010 was a good year! A year of change!! A year of trials! A year of ups and downs!!

John is still working at Harry Cooper. Thankfully, he has made it through layoff! We like the Monday through Friday schedule! It's great for family time!

Mattea turned three in November. This has proven to be fun, and challenging!!! She has a bit of a tude on her, but what three year old doesn't? I call her my sour patch kid, because she can be so sour and then turn around and be the sweetest little girl you have ever met! We are going to be putting her into pre-school this fall. She loves to learn, and loves all her friends she meets!

Cecelia was born Feb. 19th! she has been such a blessing to our family. She is now ten months old and is getting ready to walk! She is taking small steps and standing on her own! She is so chill....unless she is teething, which she has been doing a lot of lately! She has decided to get all her teeth at once!

Me, well, I'm a work in progress.....I went back to work after I had Cecelia. I had a great time while it lasted. I hurt my knee in November and was not able to do the Christmas season. So, I have decided that my body is telling me to quit before I really injure myself!! I have been adjusting to being a full time stay at home Mom. I basically was before, I just went to work at night. I think that winter was the worst time to start this transition seeing as it is so dang cold outside, and we can't do anything!! But, we are working on finding things to do.

So, now I promise to do my best to update every once in a while! Thanks folks!!