Sleepless in Branson.....

So, I know I really stink bad at the blogging thing!! I have intentions to get on, say a little hello, and a how ya doin. But, somewhere in there.....I don't! There is so much I wanna share with you that won't all fit into this little blurb.....or it would be a huge one! But, I have decided that I do not take enough ME time. I spend so much of my time on others, I have neglected myself. So, I will be just a tad selfish and take a little time to myself. Which means, I might update more! Yippee! Some posts that might come up, my amazing Quest for life, Hawaii, Cali, the fact that my BABY will be a year old in four days!! So, stay tuned......I really do have interesting things to say......some of the time!!!

My affair with the Dr. continues BTW.........This is the most amazing cup in the world.....So much Dr. in one cup!! Yummy!!!

Words of Inspiration

This is one of my favorite worship songs, and it keeps coming to mind with all I'm going through. Just wanted to share it with you.

Rescue

You are the source of life

I can't be left behind

no one else will do

I will take hold of you

Cause I need you Jesus

To come to my rescue

Where else can I go?

There's no other name by which I am saved

Caputre me with grace

I will follow You

My heart is yours for life

I need your hand in mine

No one else will do

I put my trust in you

Cause I need you Jesus

to come to my rescue

Where else can i go?

There's no other name by which I am saved

Capture me with grace

I will follow you

This world has NOTHING for me

I will follow you

This world has NOTHING for me

I will follow you

This world has NOTHING for me

I will follow you

THIS WORLD HAS NOTHING FOR ME

Cause I need you Jesus

To come to my rescue

Where else can I go?

There's no other name by which I am saved

Capture me with Grace

I will follow you

THIS WORLD HAS NOTHING FOR ME

I WILL FOLLOW YOU

Oh yea.....the Bad Dreams Part

So, two times this week, Mattea has started yelling in her sleep.....she is crying, "Don't!! NO!! Stop!!" I have to shake her to wake her. She doesn't wake fully, so she doesn't tell me what her dream was about. But, I don't want my little girl having bad dreams (of course I know I have no control over it) I just wish I knew what she was dreaming that would have her so worked up! Well, that's all about that. I just know how I feel when I have bad dreams.......and I don't like it!!!!

Bad Dreams and Sleepless Nights

I think I'm going with some nice pinkish purple tonight!!!

Well, here it is, almost midnight. I've been trying to sleep since 9:30! Obviously, this hasn't worked. I even took my prescription sleeping medicine (no, not the one that makes me loopy, so this post WILL make sense!) But, here I am.

I have a lot on my mind lately. Like I said in the last post.....I'm a work in progress! I have been struggling lately. About five years ago, I was diagnosed bipolar. At first, I was freaked, because, I thought of what people would think of me......But, it is a disorder that is not in my control! I wouldn't be ashamed of Diabetes or Cancer, as my Mom put it. Well, I had it pretty well under control until after Cecelia. Since then, I have been up, down, and all around.

Lately, I feel like I have lost myself. Lost my joy. And for those who know me......I have a lot of Joy!!! I have been so wrapped up in being Mommy, Wife, Sister, Daughter, Friend...I have forgotten about myself and who I am. So, I am taking time to find myself again. I am going to be attending an intensive counseling retreat next week, and I can't wait. I know that there is nothing but good in store for my family and I.

Why am I posting about this? Well, far too often, I feel like we have to put on a "face" you know, life is wonderful! I have no complaints! My kids are perfect and NEVER act up..... Ya know.....keepin up with the Joneses....But, I feel like a lot of us have feelings, fears, and hangups that we never talk about. We just push them down farther. I just want to put it out there.......I have some issues!!!!! But, the good thing is, I am willing to accept that I am not perfect and seek the help I need! Luckily for me, I have the Lord on my side. I know he will never leave me. I keep telling myself......he will NEVER give me more than I can handle. Turn to him!! He is there!!

But enough about my ramblings. Hopefully, someone found some comfort in this.......know you are not alone......we don't all have it together!!!!

2011 Here We Come

Okay, so I know I am terrible at blogging! I can sit on the internet forever and do nothing, yet, I forget to update! So, I promise to my 3 followers out there....I'll try and do better.

2010 was a good year! A year of change!! A year of trials! A year of ups and downs!!

John is still working at Harry Cooper. Thankfully, he has made it through layoff! We like the Monday through Friday schedule! It's great for family time!

Mattea turned three in November. This has proven to be fun, and challenging!!! She has a bit of a tude on her, but what three year old doesn't? I call her my sour patch kid, because she can be so sour and then turn around and be the sweetest little girl you have ever met! We are going to be putting her into pre-school this fall. She loves to learn, and loves all her friends she meets!

Cecelia was born Feb. 19th! she has been such a blessing to our family. She is now ten months old and is getting ready to walk! She is taking small steps and standing on her own! She is so chill....unless she is teething, which she has been doing a lot of lately! She has decided to get all her teeth at once!

Me, well, I'm a work in progress.....I went back to work after I had Cecelia. I had a great time while it lasted. I hurt my knee in November and was not able to do the Christmas season. So, I have decided that my body is telling me to quit before I really injure myself!! I have been adjusting to being a full time stay at home Mom. I basically was before, I just went to work at night. I think that winter was the worst time to start this transition seeing as it is so dang cold outside, and we can't do anything!! But, we are working on finding things to do.

So, now I promise to do my best to update every once in a while! Thanks folks!!

Lillian Faith Cruz

My beautiful, amazing, gorgeous little Niece Lillian Faith Cruz was born today at 2:39pm weighing in a whopping 8lbs 12oz. But, she was so busy getting those chubby cheeks in Mommys belly, she didn't fully develop her bum. They have flown her up to St. Louis Childrens Hospital and she is going to need surgery. Hopefully, it will be easy, and that will be the only problem. But, please keep my Brother and his family in your prayers. Thanks a bunch!

Need More Time!!!!!

I have been wanting to edit/put together collages of our trip to Utah and Moms party, so I could post them on here.......yet, I find myself with NO time! As soon as we got home from Utah, we signed on our house (yay) so that meant MOVING all our stuff! Then, two weeks of Christmas rehearsals where I had literally enough time to wake up, get a little done around the house, get the girls fed and dressed, get out the door, drop them off at Daycare, and then get to rehearsals......only to do it again for two weeks straight!! Now I had a great time at rehearsals, they just left me highly un-motivated to do much in the morning. So, this week, the last week of my break, I have been trying to put my house together, while cleaning the old one!!! It's already Friday! I go back to work Monday......I NEED MORE TIME!!!!! I feel as though I have not had a break at all! But, I will be okay......the house does not need to be Parade of Homes ready before I go back to work.......I just want it to be. That would be the OCD in me! Wow, ur still reading......I'm sorry I bored you for so long! Off to do some more cleaning!